The Path Back to You

Your future you avatar has been there all along

As we’re bumbling along this beautiful and often beautifully messy life we come across opportunity after opportunity to shed parts of us that no longer fit and embody a part of us that has always been there, maybe just tucked away for a bit, covered in old clutter.

If a dream has been put on your heart, if a vision won’t leave your mind, it has been put there for a reason.

Your soul carried that with you into this life.

Like an actor that is auditioning for a role, you will be in a process of becoming what you’ve already been in order to make that dream real.

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What do I mean becoming what you’ve already been?

I remember saying often in my 20’s and 30’s that I just wanted to channel 7 year old me again. She was confident, intuitive, kind, flirty (I really was, albeit incredibly shy), spiritual, outdoorsy, musical, and magical. She loved modeling dress-up and walking down the fashion catwalk of her upstairs hallway in her mom’s work clothes just as much as she loved playing office with her dad’s work stuff and just as much as she loved helping her aunts in the kitchen, making up stories for fireflies, snuggling with all animals (doggos especially), imagining what story the clouds were trying to tell us, reading a good book, and channeling in her dreams and her long lost relatives.

I have always been a blend of spiritual, nature, beauty, magic, and logic.

But then life happened. I was a super sensitive heart-led kiddo, likely with ADHD, definitely with some magical gifts that weren’t nurtured.

I was bullied by a neighbor girl when I did better than her through my formative years, and based on how I was raised by my mom just took it like it was ok. I remember a day my cousin, and best friend, Anne was visiting one summer. This girl treated me like she always did and Anne, in her fiery red hair that matched her personality and wit, looked astonished, and said, “she cannot treat you that way, we’re leaving,” as she took me by the arm and dragged me home.

The part that astonishes me more? My response.

I was embarrassed about my cousin. My mom always said when I shared the hurts about this friend, that that’s just what “sisters” do. My response was learned behavior, and now that I know what I know as a coach, that was an indicator of how low my self-worth was and how insecure I was even as a middle schooler. And yes, I let people treat me like this for decades until I healed.

That’s a funny law of the universe, you will attract into your life situations repeatedly until you get the message and do the work.

This was just the beginning of the pile on, the dirt that layered up over the treasures.

Another part of my story, that I know many can resonate with, but I won’t get into today, is the emotional avoidance, emotional volatility, and narcissism I was raised by. And by parents who were by all accounts amazing church-going, gardening, connected neighbors and volunteers on the outside, but I was an only child who was the parent to her parents at a very young age.

Life’s wounding and what I made it mean about me had added up as a great invisibility cape. My inability to live in the “Power of Now,” (thank you Eckhart Tolle) had added up to a lot of extra layers and stuckness of living in the past and fearing the future.

I had to clear the clutter of my subconscious programming, release the tension and trauma from my body, regulate a nervous system that was long dysregulated, and create a new core set of operating principles that aligned with my soul.

These new operating principles became my avatar.

The messy middle that I wrote about last week is really the integration process. You’re allowing your body to remember what it was like to feel so freely you. You’re embodying a higher frequency that can only be achieved with a large letting go.

Creating your avatar is a great way to empower you to move through discomfort en route to your dreams.

Here are a few questions that have really served my clients in acting from this place:

• What would the most high self-worth version of you do here?

• What does this person, who has already achieved your dreams, do every day and how do they do it?

• Who is in your community? Who do you trust to ask for help?

• What personas are you still hiding behind and how can you let them go in order to fully embody whom you’ve always been?

• Who are you jealous of? That jealousy is an arrow pointing to a trait that is ready to re-awaken in you.

Here’s an example from my own life.

The dream imprinted on my soul is to be the most sought after spiritual leadership and business coach, guiding people and businesses to bring the soul back to all we do, reinventing how we work to be aligned with a higher level of collective consciousness, that empowers all and gives back to the earth, more than it takes. This work ensures that all actions align with words and brand motto’s.

I’ve had to let go of the persona that can’t talk about herself and her gifts for fear of shining brighter. I’ve had to dig up subconscious fears of visibility. I have to believe in myself in a way I never have (in a way my parents never have - but in the way my cousin Anne always did and my uncle Art too - they are both now my spirit guides on this journey). I’ve had to map my days differently, and do for me rather than others. I’ve had to shake off perfectionist procrastinating tendencies and just do.

I get to act in faith rather than fear because I know this path is laid out for me. I get to daily tune my frequency because that makes a larger mark on this earth than any realize. I get to believe in miracles again, and that I deserve them just as much as the next person.

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How about you? Use the above as a template, what would yours look like?

Ready to become your future you avatar and dust off what’s been in the way? I’d love to know the details in the comments.

Others learn through shared story, and that was my intention with today’s post, so know that this is a safe place for you to share too.

As you rise, others rise too.